Weston Blaha

Tag: Monsters

  • Sweaty Toddlers are Cute—Sweaty Teens Need a Shower.

    Sweaty Toddlers are Cute—Sweaty Teens Need a Shower.

    Sometimes I read a news headline and ask myself, “How in the world did we ever get to this point?” I’m sure I’m not the only one. Unfortunately, that’s a question that sad and distraught parents often ask me regarding their rebelling teenagers—“how did we get to this point?” The answer to both questions is often, but not always, the same: we allowed “cute” sins to grow into ugly monsters. To illustrate this in a somewhat “icky” way: Sweaty toddlers are cute—sweaty teens need a shower.

    Sweaty Toddlers

    When our kids are young, sin is relatively easy to identify. If a toddler sneaks chocolate, it’s on his mouth. If a 1st grader lies, it’s usually a poor one. When sternly confronted with their disobedience, children often melt. You can put your child in the bath. You can put them in time out. So, if we aren’t careful, we can often underestimate the danger of disrespect and disobedience in our young children as their sin hides behind their cuteness and our ability to control their actions.

    Sweaty Teens

    However, that underestimation wears off pretty quick. Lies by teenagers are more difficult to decipher. Teens are sneakier. Teens push against correction and might even back you down. You might even begin asking if it’s too late to correct the issue at this point. It’s not hard to see that sin becomes uglier the longer it ages.

    Here’s the Rub:

    What sin “does” in our children it also “does” in our society. At first it’s readily identifiable; easier to back down. Often, societal sin is laughed at or seen as non-threatening—in other words, in its infancy, societal sin is consistently and dangerously underestimated.

    But then societal sin ages. It’s now sneakier than before. It’s defended in the public sphere. It might even back YOU down. “How in the world did we ever get to this point?” You might now wonder if it’s even worth fighting against anymore—is it too late to correct the societal sins?

    The answer is “maybe.” But the answer doesn’t actually have much bearing on us. Whether it’s too late or not doesn’t effect our actions. Consider Jeremiah the prophet. He would prophecy and warn Israel of their upcoming doom. He would call them to repentance—but repentance would not come. And so, Jeremiah would suffer exile along with the rest of Israel. In other words, it was too late, but that didn’t alter or out-date the duties of those who follow God’s commands.

    The little battles against little sins matter in our children. The little battles against little sins matter in our society. Sin ALWAYS gets uglier as it ages. Maybe it’s too late. Maybe it isn’t. We aren’t privy to that information. However, we do know that we are to abhor what is evil and hold fast to what is good (Rom. 12:9).

    Church, we must not neglect to address and instruct against the “little sins” of our children and society–our metaphorical “sweaty toddlers.” But we must also not give up on the ugly sins. We must try to make the teen take a shower. We must pray for a change of attitude and values before he becomes known as “the stinky kid.” We must abhor what is evil and hold fast to what is good.

  • Youth Ministry “Monsters Under the Bed”

    Youth Ministry “Monsters Under the Bed”

    What are those things that student ministry leaders fear? I am not talking about injuries, teaching a poor lesson, or forgetting to register for summer camp. I’m thinking about those deep-seated issues that tend to surface at night like monsters from under the bed. Here’s the thing about monsters under the bed: we don’t like to talk about them. We prefer to turn off the light, run to the bed, and pull the covers over our eyes. But, if you are ever going to rid yourself of the monsters, you need to clear what’s under the bed. In this post, I want to focus on five monsters that healthy Student Ministry Leaders must vanquish, or at the very least, shine the flashlight upon.

    1. Fakeness

    One of the saddest quirks that I commonly see in youth ministry is leaders who aren’t personally invested in the lives of their students. It’s not that they do not like the students they work with or even wish they were doing something else. However, they put on such a quality job of pretending to be invested that church leadership, parents, teens, and sometimes even themselves can often not identify what’s amiss. Deep down, these students and parents know something is “off” but lack the experience or face-time to recognize it quickly. Now, it’s worth noting that students will eventually notice. Teens are experts at identifying “fake” but often poor at articulating it. If you find yourself struggling to have meaningful relationships with your teens, ask if this monster is haunting you.

    2. High School Onlyist

    There is a section of people known as “King James Version Only Bible Readers,” otherwise known as KJV Onlyists. Thus, “High School Onlyists” would be those who put the overwhelming emphasis of their ministry focus upon the high school students (if you are hired as a High School Pastor/Director, you are excluded from this category). If you oversee both Middle School and High School yet allow the High School to dominate your attention and time, you won’t have a High School soon. When building and sustaining a youth ministry, you must focus on the groups coming up. This means you should value the Children’s ministry’s success. You should invest in the goofy Middle School students who will one day be the all-too-cool High School students. HS Onlyism leads to dying ministries, cliques, and often, a job search.

    3. Fear of Parents 

    This is usually a monster endured by young or immature youth leaders. The young leader often views the parents of their students much like the students do: as their parents. This can make it difficult to stand your ground in a disagreement or take the initiative to ask a parent out to coffee. Additionally, for immature youth leaders, parents are a threat. In my experience, one of the signs of an insecure and immature youth leader is that they do not want parents anywhere around the ministry. This may not be a universal rule, but it is common. If this is you, click on the flashlight and point out the monster.

    4. Isolation from Mentorship

    Everyone needs a mentor—someone you can text, call or meet on a whim. Having a mentor does not need to be a formal, contractual arrangement. Instead, it needs to be a relationship of trust, one in which you can hear the difficult truths about yourself or your actions. This also requires someone willing to be honest. There is nothing worse than making big decisions that will affect your students’ lives and making them alone. Find a mentor. Listen to their advice. This monster will debilitate you and undermine your confidence.

    5. Being the Smartest Person in the Room

    Now, this one is different than the others. I would hope that an adult youth leader would be the smartest person in a room full of teens—at least as far as biblical knowledge and wisdom are concerned. However, the danger of always being the smartest person in the room is that you minister without a challenge to grow. This is one of the benefits of having adults in the room. You are not only preparing for the teens, some of whom are very young, but you are preparing a lesson that the parents will judge. We can slump into low-effort teaching all too often because it only takes low effort to impress and challenge the students. Don’t fall into this trap!

    Well, there they are, five monsters that youth leaders face hiding under the bed. What would you add to this list?