Tag: #StudentMinistry

A Youth Ministry From Scratch
So, I’m starting a youth ministry from scratch. My new church has one consistent youth-aged student attending, with the potential of some friends or inconsistent others. In my fifteen years of youth ministry experience, I have always had–at the very least–some form of critical mass. This will be a very different experience.

So, as I have been praying and considering how to begin with one student, I came up with six tips for growing a youth group with one student.
1. Prepare as if I am expecting twenty students. Now, I should clarify, this does not mean I am ordering pizza for twenty students. But it does mean that my preparation time, the amount of effort and thought that will go into games, lessons, projects, or events will be the same as if I were preparing for twenty. Whatever the activity–make it the best activity possible for the student(s) who come.
2. Engage community events. When critical mass is hard to drum up, go find it. This means being more active in local schools, activities, and events. Go to where the people are and take your group with you.
3. Invite the community. One of the more common complaints I hear from youth directors is “no one brings any friends.” Maybe we can discuss why that might be in another post, but for the sake of this post we need to be prepared to invite students ourselves. Remember, the youth ministry is a ministry to and for the youth of your church. It is really not their job to bring people, although it would be wonderful if they would.
4. Be visible in the community. The easiest mistake for a small church to make is to hide within its own walls. Small churches have the ability to use the precision of a surgeon in reaching their community. Get out there and make your church a name in the community.
5. Embrace change. Growth will mean change. Think about it: in a small group, one new student can shift the types of games, activities, and interests of the group. Small youth groups need to learn to break out of the small “clique” environment where everyone knows your name, and become comfortable with the changes that growth will demand.
6. Be Patient. Perhaps the most difficult piece of advice for me to handle. I am an instant gratification person. I want to see immediate results. But growth takes time and time requires patience.
So, there it is. If I were going to give advice to myself, this is what it would be.

It will not be easy.

It will not be immediate.

But it will bear fruit.

It will grow the kingdom.

And that is the calling of the ministry.
December 13, 2022
Sweaty Toddlers are Cute—Sweaty Teens Need a Shower.

Sometimes I read a news headline and ask myself, “How in the world did we ever get to this point?” I’m sure I’m not the only one. Unfortunately, that’s a question that sad and distraught parents often ask me regarding their rebelling teenagers—“how did we get to this point?” The answer to both questions is often, but not always, the same: we allowed “cute” sins to grow into ugly monsters. To illustrate this in a somewhat “icky” way: Sweaty toddlers are cute—sweaty teens need a shower.

Sweaty Toddlers

When our kids are young, sin is relatively easy to identify. If a toddler sneaks chocolate, it’s on his mouth. If a 1st grader lies, it’s usually a poor one. When sternly confronted with their disobedience, children often melt. You can put your child in the bath. You can put them in time out. So, if we aren’t careful, we can often underestimate the danger of disrespect and disobedience in our young children as their sin hides behind their cuteness and our ability to control their actions.

Sweaty Teens

However, that underestimation wears off pretty quick. Lies by teenagers are more difficult to decipher. Teens are sneakier. Teens push against correction and might even back you down. You might even begin asking if it’s too late to correct the issue at this point. It’s not hard to see that sin becomes uglier the longer it ages.

Here’s the Rub:

What sin “does” in our children it also “does” in our society. At first it’s readily identifiable; easier to back down. Often, societal sin is laughed at or seen as non-threatening—in other words, in its infancy, societal sin is consistently and dangerously underestimated.

But then societal sin ages. It’s now sneakier than before. It’s defended in the public sphere. It might even back YOU down. “How in the world did we ever get to this point?” You might now wonder if it’s even worth fighting against anymore—is it too late to correct the societal sins?

The answer is “maybe.” But the answer doesn’t actually have much bearing on us. Whether it’s too late or not doesn’t effect our actions. Consider Jeremiah the prophet. He would prophecy and warn Israel of their upcoming doom. He would call them to repentance—but repentance would not come. And so, Jeremiah would suffer exile along with the rest of Israel. In other words, it was too late, but that didn’t alter or out-date the duties of those who follow God’s commands.

The little battles against little sins matter in our children. The little battles against little sins matter in our society. Sin ALWAYS gets uglier as it ages. Maybe it’s too late. Maybe it isn’t. We aren’t privy to that information. However, we do know that we are to abhor what is evil and hold fast to what is good (Rom. 12:9).

Church, we must not neglect to address and instruct against the “little sins” of our children and society–our metaphorical “sweaty toddlers.” But we must also not give up on the ugly sins. We must try to make the teen take a shower. We must pray for a change of attitude and values before he becomes known as “the stinky kid.” We must abhor what is evil and hold fast to what is good.

March 31, 2022
Retreat with Purpose

I recently returned from one of our church’s yearly youth trips. This particular camp was called “Elevate.” Elevate is a retreat in Gatlinburg, TN, that offers a ski package and a non-ski package (this little piece of information will be relevant shortly). Our students love this retreat, but usually for different reasons than the adults and leaders.

Why Retreat?

While often not acknowledged, a time of retreat is a biblical concept. Moses would retreat to his tent to meet with YHWH. David often withdrew from his duties to be in the presence of the Lord. Jesus retreated to the mountain to be alone after the death of John the Baptist. Retreats are necessary and should be intentional. But, the intent of a retreat matters. In other words, it should have a clear and identifiable purpose.

The Intent of a Retreat

The intent of a retreat can be varied. For some, it is a time to address unconfessed sins. For others, a retreat is to remove oneself from the chaos of everyday life and slow down. For Elevate, the retreat is for our adults and students to have a steroid shot of relational interaction, which would have taken months or longer to achieve during “normal” youth programming. Experience has taught me that when volunteers and parents attend a youth retreat, a level of friendship is formed that is almost impossible to achieve in everyday life.

This reality leads us to why I mentioned Elevate’s two options: ski and non-ski packages. Suppose I am seeking to build relational capital between my students and volunteers/adults. In that case, I need to attend a camp where I can bring as many students and volunteers/chaperones as possible. In other words, if I choose to participate in a retreat in which skiing is the only option, I will lose a third of my students, and they will miss out on the relationships. But, if I attend a retreat with no event “allure” to it, I will fail to attract my fringe students and their friends with whom I hope to build relationships. So, knowing why you are retreating and who you are trying to reach should be the primary factor in choosing where you retreat.

Our students love Elevate because they can ski, worship, and be relatively free to do what they want within the guidelines provided. Our volunteers love Elevate because they can ski, walk the city, and learn more about the youth ministry at Lakeside. Finally, I love Elevate because it offers 85 hours of a relational steroid injected straight into my students, volunteers, and leaders. We have our winter retreat at Elevate because we need to focus on knowing each other well and creating a culture where everyone has a friend when they arrive at church.

Conclusion

Leaders, if your church is not “retreating” with relationships being one of the goals in mind, I would ask that you evaluate why you retreat. Please, don’t be afraid to bring new volunteers and parents; it’s beautiful to see the entire body invested in the students.

Volunteers, please know the value you bring and your impact on the teens in your church. Your youth ministry cannot thrive without godly, present volunteers invested in the student community. Thank you!

Parents, if you have never volunteered to chaperone a retreat, I would encourage you to do so. You will not regret it.

Retreat well and retreat with purpose!

January 18, 2022