Weston Blaha

Author: WestonBlaha

  • 10 Tips to Becoming Miserable At Your Church (Part 1)

    10 Tips to Becoming Miserable At Your Church (Part 1)

    *Every now and then, we need to remember what not to do. This is the first of a two-part post on 10 tips to being miserable at your church.*

    1. Lie to yourself about your membership motives.

    Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones was a powerful physician-turned-pastor who lived in the 20th century. At his first sermon at his first church he spoke these words:

    “Our chapels and churches are crowded with people, nearly all of whom take the Lord’s Supper without a moments’s hesitation, and yet, without judging harshly or unjustly, do you imagine for a moment that all those people believe that Christ died for them? Well, then, you ask, why are they church members, why do they pretend to believe? The answer is that they are afraid to be honest with themselves, afraid of what their parents and friends would say of them if they got up and said that they couldn’t honestly say that Christ meant anything to them.” (The Life of D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, 1899-19981, 89)

    Does Christ truly mean anything to you? Are you a member because you cannot be honest about your faith? This first way to become miserable at your church is to lie to yourself about your membership motives.

    “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.” -Hebrews 10:23

    2. Refuse to volunteer.

    One of the well-known psychological advantages of volunteering is “pride of product.” Understandably, calling anything church-related a “product” is problematic, but the concept is helpful. People who volunteer in the church take ownership of the church. Volunteers are committed, they care for the local body, and they desire to see others do the same. The church is a body of believers, and everyone is called by Christ to hold an active role in that body. The church is a body of believers, and everyone is called by Christ to hold an active role in that body. Thus, if you want to be miserable, attend church as a consumer, and not as a community member.

    “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,” -Hebrews 10:24

    3. Make church a chore.

    If church attendance is seen as a chore and not a privilege then it will quickly be treated as such. Just like making the bed, taking out trash, or mowing the lawn, you will put it off until it can no longer be ignored, or, you will attend with an attitude of restlessness: “This sermon is way too long!” If you want to be miserable at your church, be sure to relegate the blessings of the gathering of the saints as nothing more than one more item on the chore list.

    (Continued from the verse above) “not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” -Hebrews 10:25

    4. Undervalue worshipping as a family.

    Every family, no matter how small, should be seen as a “little church.” It should pray together, read the Bible together, and attend worship together. There is a great danger in dividing this family unit for corporate worship. How can you train up a child in the way that he should go, when you are letting your children (those still in your household) either sleep in or consistently attend other churches with their friends? If you want to be miserable in your church, be sure that your family does not worship, pray, or read the Bible together.

    “Train up a child in the way that he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” -Proverbs 22:6

    5. Stay busy.

    We live in a busy world–we very well may be the busiest generation in history. The ease of access to entertainment, side hustles, and youth sports are unparalleled in our past. What ends up happening is that Sundays–when we aren’t making that extra cash or winning that Select Tournament–end up becoming a much needed day to “catch up.” So we run errands, sleep in, knock out our chores, catch up on homework, etc…at the expense of the sabbath rest. If you want to be miserable at your church, be sure to view Sunday as your “catch up” day from the rest of the week.

    “Observe the Sabbath day, and keep it holy.” -Deuteronomy 5:12

    *This list will be continued in a later post!*

  • Two Types of Student Ministry Failures

    Two Types of Student Ministry Failures

    Taking time to discuss failure is important. In most of my youth ministry groups, everyone wants to share a recent “win.” This win can range from a higher than expected youth attendance, all the way to a baptism. And while these wins are great, and wins are the goal, the most teachable moments are commonly discovered in light of failure. However, there must be a distinction made between types of failure, because not all failure looks, feels, or is the same.

    Two Types of Student Ministry Failures

    There are two types of failure that, I believe, have the largest impact on youth ministry: failure of fit and failure of character. I believe that someone can fail as the youth director of a church without specifically failing that particular church. This is a failure of fit. But, on the other hand, I also think that someone can fail as the church’s youth director precisely because he failed that church. This is a failure of character, and by far the more harmful. Thus, there is an important distinction to be made in the type of failure.

    Failure of fit.

    This first type of failure does not necessarily sit directly on the shoulders of the youth director. I have known godly men and women terminated because their specific methods or “style” of ministry did not appeal to the church. It had nothing to do with their negligence in preaching the Word, immoral lifestyle, or a sub-par work ethic. It was simply aesthetics, preferences, and culture. In other words, these people failed because of “fit,” not because of faithlessness. This type of failure is the “failure of fit,” which is not failing as a youth director. But, it is worth noting, failure of fit can be laid on the shoulders of the youth director who did no do his due diligence in being certain that he was called to his church. Failure of fit can rest on the church and/or the youth director.

    Failure of Character.

    The second type of failure, however, does fall directly on the youth director. This failure stems from a lack of urgency in discipleship, moral collapses, unwise judgments, or undisciplined work ethics. Sometimes these are life-long patterns, and other times they are simply a temporary lack of self-control. Regardless, failure of this sort is directly related to failing the church. This type of failure is a “failure of character,” and the director is fully responsible for these types of lapses.

    While these are not the only types of student ministry failure, my experience reveals these as the most common.

    What do you do if you are in the first category?

    1. Be honest with yourself.

    You cannot return to ministry insecure in your calling. This does not mean that you refuse to grow, but it does mean having a better perspective of your strengths and weaknesses as you head to lead your next student ministry.

    2. Be honest with your next church.

    “It wasn’t a good fit” is the ministry version of no-fault divorce: no one believes it at face value. Instead, be upfront about where the disconnects occurred. Demonstrate your growth in wisdom regarding ministry call and expectations.

    What do you do if you are in the second category?

    1. Be honest with yourself.

    If you cannot admit to your failure then you will never grow. Admittance of failure is a crucial aspect of repentance and correction. If you are unwilling to be honest about your mistakes, then you will likely make the same mistakes at the next church.

    2. If it’s a moral failure, take the right amount of time away from ministry.

    There are different levels of severity regarding moral failings. There are those which should remove you from ministry forever, and there are those that require a temporary but proper time of ministerial suspension. For those failures that don’t deserve permanent expulsion, be sure you follow the wisdom of your denomination, pastor, and elders regarding a time-table to return to ministerial leadership.

    3. Be truthful, humble, and upfront about your past.

    I have heard of churches hiring a new youth director, only afterwards learning about undisclosed past moral failure. The result was immediate termination and a glaring mark on the resume. In many cases, these persons never re-entered ministry. No one wants to feel deceived, especially when the position carries so much influence with their children.

    Conclusion

    So, what are the two major types of student ministry failure? One in which the church fails you, and one in which you fail the church. Neither of these paths of failure builds up the kingdom. Neither option is ideal. This means that the right questions must be asked, the proper motives acted upon, and Lord’s guidance clear.