Taking time to discuss failure is important. In most of my youth ministry groups, everyone wants to share a recent “win.” This win can range from a higher than expected youth attendance, all the way to a baptism. And while these wins are great, and wins are the goal, the most teachable moments are commonly discovered in light of failure. However, there must be a distinction made between types of failure, because not all failure looks, feels, or is the same.

Two Types of Student Ministry Failures

There are two types of failure that, I believe, have the largest impact on youth ministry: failure of fit and failure of character. I believe that someone can fail as the youth director of a church without specifically failing that particular church. This is a failure of fit. But, on the other hand, I also think that someone can fail as the church’s youth director precisely because he failed that church. This is a failure of character, and by far the more harmful. Thus, there is an important distinction to be made in the type of failure.

Failure of fit.

This first type of failure does not necessarily sit directly on the shoulders of the youth director. I have known godly men and women terminated because their specific methods or “style” of ministry did not appeal to the church. It had nothing to do with their negligence in preaching the Word, immoral lifestyle, or a sub-par work ethic. It was simply aesthetics, preferences, and culture. In other words, these people failed because of “fit,” not because of faithlessness. This type of failure is the “failure of fit,” which is not failing as a youth director. But, it is worth noting, failure of fit can be laid on the shoulders of the youth director who did no do his due diligence in being certain that he was called to his church. Failure of fit can rest on the church and/or the youth director.

Failure of Character.

The second type of failure, however, does fall directly on the youth director. This failure stems from a lack of urgency in discipleship, moral collapses, unwise judgments, or undisciplined work ethics. Sometimes these are life-long patterns, and other times they are simply a temporary lack of self-control. Regardless, failure of this sort is directly related to failing the church. This type of failure is a “failure of character,” and the director is fully responsible for these types of lapses.

While these are not the only types of student ministry failure, my experience reveals these as the most common.

What do you do if you are in the first category?

1. Be honest with yourself.

You cannot return to ministry insecure in your calling. This does not mean that you refuse to grow, but it does mean having a better perspective of your strengths and weaknesses as you head to lead your next student ministry.

2. Be honest with your next church.

“It wasn’t a good fit” is the ministry version of no-fault divorce: no one believes it at face value. Instead, be upfront about where the disconnects occurred. Demonstrate your growth in wisdom regarding ministry call and expectations.

What do you do if you are in the second category?

1. Be honest with yourself.

If you cannot admit to your failure then you will never grow. Admittance of failure is a crucial aspect of repentance and correction. If you are unwilling to be honest about your mistakes, then you will likely make the same mistakes at the next church.

2. If it’s a moral failure, take the right amount of time away from ministry.

There are different levels of severity regarding moral failings. There are those which should remove you from ministry forever, and there are those that require a temporary but proper time of ministerial suspension. For those failures that don’t deserve permanent expulsion, be sure you follow the wisdom of your denomination, pastor, and elders regarding a time-table to return to ministerial leadership.

3. Be truthful, humble, and upfront about your past.

I have heard of churches hiring a new youth director, only afterwards learning about undisclosed past moral failure. The result was immediate termination and a glaring mark on the resume. In many cases, these persons never re-entered ministry. No one wants to feel deceived, especially when the position carries so much influence with their children.

Conclusion

So, what are the two major types of student ministry failure? One in which the church fails you, and one in which you fail the church. Neither of these paths of failure builds up the kingdom. Neither option is ideal. This means that the right questions must be asked, the proper motives acted upon, and Lord’s guidance clear.