Last week I preached on 1 John 2:1-6, and in the sermon, I was struggling to make a point regarding our young men and young women. And let me just say, I was struggling for a couple of reasons. First, I was fighting my way through a gnarly cold and simply could not find my voice. Talking was hard, and when talking is hard and then you get choked up—talking becomes even more difficult. Second, I still have a heart and passion for youth. The number of young girls who feel like they are “damaged goods” or that they have ruined their value through pre-marital sex is significantly higher than most people realize. The number of young men who have had pornography set before them before puberty is nauseating. And the point I was trying to make is simple yet complex: the church (in general) is really good about telling our teens what NOT to do: don’t have sex, don’t look at pornography—but often REALLY struggles to offer a way forward IF they’ve done these things. “What if I have already had sex? What if I have already been looking at porn?” Our answer is usually “repent, and don’t.” I’m not convinced that cuts it.

I was thinking about the story of Ruth and Naomi this week. Maybe I am off on a wild tangent here, but I noticed something for the first time—allow me to set the scene:
Ruth was a widowed, childless Moabite. She had been intimate with her husband and lost him. Naomi lost not only her husband but her two sons as well. As Naomi heads back to her people, the Israelites, Ruth comes along—where else would she go? Ruth providentially comes across the path of Boaz. Boaz is a good man, yet unmarried. As Ruth begins to catch his eye, Naomi encourages Ruth to pursue the relationship. Listen to Naomi’s advice:
“Then Naomi her mother-in-law said to her, “My daughter, should I not seek rest for you, that it may be well with you? Is not Boaz our relative, with whose young women you were? See, he is winnowing barley tonight at the threshing floor. Wash therefore and anoint yourself, and put on your cloak and go down to the threshing floor, but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking. But when he lies down, observe the place where he lies. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down, and he will tell you what to do.” And she replied, “All that you say I will do.”(Ruth 3:1-5)

It is important to note what “uncover his feet” could mean, though there is disagreement over this. You have two major options: The first is that Ruth was indulging in a cultural process that showed she wished to be wed to Boaz. Some think that uncovering the feet meant that, as it got colder, he would wake up and see her. Others say that it is about showing that she wished to be under the authority of his household. Either of these is fine and probably falls within the majority view.

But the other option is that it is a sexual euphemism for uncovering Boaz’s genitals. Now, this second option is interesting to me for a couple of reasons but, most relevant to this article, it would say something about Ruth’s perception of herself. Ruth was, in a sense, “damaged goods”—and she knew it. She did not wait for Boaz to come for her, as would be culturally the norm: she went to him. And if she was offering some sexual relationship, then it would be an even stronger case that she did not see herself as one to be pursued, but one who must do the pursuing.

In 1 John 2:1 we read, “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.” The Apostle John first lays out the reason for his writing—that you may not sin. But he doesn’t leave the people wondering, “But what if I already have sinned? What now?” Instead, he offers a way forward: Christ the Righteous.

Boaz (who represents Christ) does not take advantage of the situation, nor allow Ruth to be the pursuer—instead, he tells her to wait, goes before the elders, claims her as his own, and elevates her by becoming her kinsman redeemer. In other words, the way forward for Ruth was not as a concubine, not as secondary, not as damaged goods, but as the glorified wife of a moral man of godly character who elevates her to the title of “nobel woman”—the only person in the Bible to claim that Proverbs 31 label.

And so, I guess this is where my mind sits: We need a better plan for our teens. “Don’t sin” only works until it doesn’t. “Do better” doesn’t offer a real way forward—when it comes to sexual sins, our children need to know the path, the plan, the way to redemption, elevation, and full restoration in Christ the righteous. How are we advocating for our teens? How are we modeling Boaz, and ultimatley Christ? I believe that we can and must do better.