What are those things that student ministry leaders fear? I am not talking about injuries, teaching a poor lesson, or forgetting to register for summer camp. I’m thinking about those deep-seated issues that tend to surface at night like monsters from under the bed. Here’s the thing about monsters under the bed: we don’t like to talk about them. We prefer to turn off the light, run to the bed, and pull the covers over our eyes. But, if you are ever going to rid yourself of the monsters, you need to clear what’s under the bed. In this post, I want to focus on five monsters that healthy Student Ministry Leaders must vanquish, or at the very least, shine the flashlight upon.

1. Fakeness

One of the saddest quirks that I commonly see in youth ministry is leaders who aren’t personally invested in the lives of their students. It’s not that they do not like the students they work with or even wish they were doing something else. However, they put on such a quality job of pretending to be invested that church leadership, parents, teens, and sometimes even themselves can often not identify what’s amiss. Deep down, these students and parents know something is “off” but lack the experience or face-time to recognize it quickly. Now, it’s worth noting that students will eventually notice. Teens are experts at identifying “fake” but often poor at articulating it. If you find yourself struggling to have meaningful relationships with your teens, ask if this monster is haunting you.

2. High School Onlyist

There is a section of people known as “King James Version Only Bible Readers,” otherwise known as KJV Onlyists. Thus, “High School Onlyists” would be those who put the overwhelming emphasis of their ministry focus upon the high school students (if you are hired as a High School Pastor/Director, you are excluded from this category). If you oversee both Middle School and High School yet allow the High School to dominate your attention and time, you won’t have a High School soon. When building and sustaining a youth ministry, you must focus on the groups coming up. This means you should value the Children’s ministry’s success. You should invest in the goofy Middle School students who will one day be the all-too-cool High School students. HS Onlyism leads to dying ministries, cliques, and often, a job search.

3. Fear of Parents 

This is usually a monster endured by young or immature youth leaders. The young leader often views the parents of their students much like the students do: as their parents. This can make it difficult to stand your ground in a disagreement or take the initiative to ask a parent out to coffee. Additionally, for immature youth leaders, parents are a threat. In my experience, one of the signs of an insecure and immature youth leader is that they do not want parents anywhere around the ministry. This may not be a universal rule, but it is common. If this is you, click on the flashlight and point out the monster.

4. Isolation from Mentorship

Everyone needs a mentor—someone you can text, call or meet on a whim. Having a mentor does not need to be a formal, contractual arrangement. Instead, it needs to be a relationship of trust, one in which you can hear the difficult truths about yourself or your actions. This also requires someone willing to be honest. There is nothing worse than making big decisions that will affect your students’ lives and making them alone. Find a mentor. Listen to their advice. This monster will debilitate you and undermine your confidence.

5. Being the Smartest Person in the Room

Now, this one is different than the others. I would hope that an adult youth leader would be the smartest person in a room full of teens—at least as far as biblical knowledge and wisdom are concerned. However, the danger of always being the smartest person in the room is that you minister without a challenge to grow. This is one of the benefits of having adults in the room. You are not only preparing for the teens, some of whom are very young, but you are preparing a lesson that the parents will judge. We can slump into low-effort teaching all too often because it only takes low effort to impress and challenge the students. Don’t fall into this trap!

Well, there they are, five monsters that youth leaders face hiding under the bed. What would you add to this list?